We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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