The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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