i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
