Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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