Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
