the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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