Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
