Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
His hands were made for my vagina.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
