There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
