I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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