evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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