I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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