Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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