this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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