You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
