God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
