Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
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I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
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I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
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