There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm like, not good at living.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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