This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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