Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I deserve this hangover.
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