On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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