North Korea, Best Korea!
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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