remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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