I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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