Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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