kristin has been a bad kristin
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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