so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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