Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
