Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
