You're a womanizer and a bitch.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
