it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
