I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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