It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize