so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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