Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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