Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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