Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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