I swear she didn't look like that last week.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
