You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
