i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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