Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
