I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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