Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I need moral support for this bender
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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