on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize
