is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
