You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
God I need to hump something, right now.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
