Non-Jews are for practice
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize