Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
