She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
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do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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