Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
