you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Randomize
