Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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