I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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