i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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