if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Randomize
