there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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