I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
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I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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