I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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