tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
