I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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