I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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