my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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