MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
